Early this evening, I started having a headache; a headache I had no business having. Up until this morning I was very confident and happy, everything was going well. Yet somehow by evening, I lay in my sister- in- love’s arms crying feeling inadequate, insufficient and not enough. I had just begun successfully convincing myself that I was stressing over a non existent issue, when I realized it was almost 2am and my non existent issue is the reason I can’t sleep.
I decided to go back and read something I had written in the past about letting go, READ HERE. After reading it, my discontent soul asked me; how do you let go of something that never was? Those things you really didn’t realize you were holding on to. Those sudden moments of disappointments, when you suddenly realize you had expectations.
All I had was these
Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Phillipians 4:6-7 MSG
Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the Lord,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40: 28-31 NKJV
So now, I silently whisper into the darkness of 2am, I’M DONE WITH THIS, the battle is not mine it’s the Lord’s.