Today is the 7th of June 2016. Today in history I was born. Today I did nothing.
It’s my birthday today and I didn’t turn 25. yesterday I found myself repeating it over and over its “24 not 25” (for some reason my brain wanted to skip a year, I had to do the maths to be double sure)
There are people who take birthdays seriously and there are people who don’t. I truly do not know where I belong, all I know is I have never done nothing on my birthday, NEVER, not even in boarding school. Even when I have nothing planned something always ends up happening somehow.
Today however nothing happened. Nothing!!! I had invited my friend over hoping that her presence would make me do something, but by the time I was done taking my bath she was asleep so I did the only logical thing (sleep too). My phone was switched off for the most part of the day so I got no calls and didn’t reply messages till evening.
The surprising part is I wasn’t upset or bothered, I tried to make a mental note of how far I’ve come from last year I was really hoping I’d discover something grand/ profound and feel energized but I realized that somehow I slept through a lot of things this past year.
I didn’t even realize 24 was here till it hit me in the face. In the original plan of my life (the one I drafted) 23 was the age for a lot of things to happen, it was the planned age to tie up the loose ends of my life and start living proper. I had pushed back some activities for “when i’m 23” and not even one of those things happened not ONE (seriously not even the let your makeup be on fleek part) . The loose ends are stuck in disorganized knots and there is nothing to tie. (other unplanned things did happen though)
A part of me really wishes to show some kind of emotion (anger, disappointment) at myself or and at God, I find myself just emotionless not upset not excited just moving with the flow kind of like a paper boat on a stream getting wet but flowing with the current.
I know I’m rambling, but hey it’s my birthday I’ll ramble if I want to.