Rejoice for the weekend is upon us.
Firstly I’ll like to apologise for the long silence, I know I’ve been everywhere else but here (procrastination really is the thief of time).
So now let’s talk movies, love and friendship.
So I recently saw Guzaarish an Indian movie (no there was no singing after each scene). The movie was about a quadriplegic magician and radio jockey who was suing for his right to euthanasia (mercy killing). He had a nurse who loved him and did everything for him, cleaned him, fed him, scratched his nose every single thing.
He could not move a muscle could not feel a thing. She sacrificed everything to be with a broke quadriplegic who only wanted death and could not even love her in return.
Let me say this movie really made me cry, and pray. I remember a scene were a fly was on his nose and he couldn’t swat it, he was calling for help and no one heard. I just had to pause the movie and pray, really thank God for the things I’ve taken for granted.
It also made me wonder why nobody loves me like his nurse loved him. Like she got married to him, this young beautiful woman loved and married a man that practically had nothing to offer her, he was broke and motionless, he didn’t even think her love was worth staying alive for, their wedding doubled as a goodbye party to all his friends he really was still going on with the plan to die and she was going to help him if it made him happy.
I spent days thinking and wondering do people really love like this, where do you meet people like this? This life can be a pot of burnt beans sometimes.
A couple of weeks passed after I saw the movie and a question randomly popped in my head. Oyedoyin do you love like that? Errrm excuse me I could if we were married or about to wed. Lol lies. The truth is currently I’m no where close to loving like that.
This selfless unconditional type of love as magical as it seems doesn’t develop overnight, it’s not something you tuck away waiting for a magical moment to unleash it. It’s so easy to assume that when the right person comes along you’ll automatically become a cool, full of love and life selfless person. I’ve come to realise that you can’t be a selfless lover if you are not a selfless friend. You really can’t give what you do not have.
If you can’t be a good friend and love your friends you might be unable to do well in the loving your partner unconditionally department. You might start out all loving but if selflessness isn’t in your nature, if you already do not show love to people without expecting them to reciprocate, at the first encounter of problem or something you consider imperfect you’ll find yourself questioning whether loving this person was the right thing to do.
We all want someone that will go the extra mile for us, be the shoulder to cry on, Knight in shining armour but most times we are none of these things, we do not appreciate people that are already these things to us because we think they are not “the one” we fail to realise that these fancy movie scenes are already our reality but without the fancy soundtrack.
So this is me deciding to actively appreciate people around me that love me the way they can and love them back because loving them is my baby step to becoming a selfless person.