Hello humans!!! hope you all are doing good?

I recently read a post about a pregnant virgin (yup you read right) so apparently somehow her boyfriend’s sperm managed to work its way up a hole in the hymen when they were doing stuff that wasn’t sex (because sex is a sin) and she became pregnant (how do I explain this to my mother) as surprising as the post was there were people who had  similar experiences commenting and advising her.

I believe that sex should be saved for marriage; what I do not understand is how society and the church has equated virginity with purity. We hammer so much on sexual sins that the mere ability to abstain catapults you to a state of purity.

You hear people say things like that girl is a good girl o; she’s a virgin she’ll make a good wife. Since when did the ability to abstain from sex start to make up for every other fruit of the spirit lacking in an individual?

For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all.

For he who said, Do not commit adultery, also said, Do not murder.

Now, if you do not commit adultery, but you do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law. James 2: 10 – 11  

Let me not even get started about the new abstinence trend in Hollywood. It’s almost like one of those Instagram challenges people do nowadays. They tell you the rules of the challenge, and you are game. Nothing has to change in your personal life just play the game and pass the baton to other nominees. So you can walk naked on the streets, promote the use of drugs as long as you are saving sex for marriage you qualify to be on a talk show about Christian Living. Did I not even say let me not get started on “HOLY” wood.

What truly worried me and inspired this post was something I heard in the course of my conversation with a friend.

The funny thing is, people always say the babe is a bad girl cos she does stuff with guys. She really isn’t that bad, she’s a virgin. Yea, she does every other thing but has never had sex. Our Naija people and their judgmental attitude sef.

So I’m here thinking, are we called to be pure or to be virgins?

Isn’t purity a way of life that encompasses everything, our sexuality, interactions with others, thoughts, our general conduct as Christians.

If abstinence is the whole gospel of purity, doesn’t the need to live a pure life then end upon marriage? Does it then mean that once you have had sex before marriage your chance at purity is blown?

Why do we say thou shall not covet your neighbor’s property in passing and spend decades pointing out the need to abstain. Like abstinence in itself is the gospel of purity.

Everybody is guilty of this in one form or another. We tend to categorize sins the sexual ones ranking higher than the others, and the ones we commit are somehow never as bad as what other people do.

So it’s okay to judge an unmarried pregnant girl and write off her salvation (because you are either a slut or a virgin). While we freely pick up the phone in a bus filled with witnesses and say we are at a bus stop that we are not even close to. Technically it’s not a lie, we would have been there but for the traffic.

The bible says

but as he who has called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct. 

1 Peter 1:15

Living a life that is true to the Christian nature of purity requires being holy in all your conduct. Everything you do, say or think has to be spot on ( no you can’t roll your eyes at your mum when she’s not looking). This level of holiness is only attainable with the help of God and a constant consciousness to live pure. The human nature and our ever-evolving world makes it so easy to slip and get off track. Remembering

that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8: 38 – 39

is important. There is no such thing as too sinful to be redeemed (though your sins are like scarlet they can be white as snow), not even our impurities can separate us from God’s love. So when we slip and get off track, no matter how far off track we are, it’s never too late to call for God’s help.

Purity is not a destination; it is a journey.

We can never really say now I am perfect. We are to strive for the manifestation of God’s perfection in us daily. Some days we will get it; some days we won’t, no matter what day it is, we are to continue striving.

With God’s help, we will have a smoother journey.




Add yours

  1. I think social media is preaching abstinence because of sexually transmitted diseases, they are not trying to preach purity or anything so its just don’t have sex so you don’t get HIV/ aids …. But because we spend so much time on social media the world has started getting confused.
    Nice post, I like how you addressed this issue.


    1. I think Purity & Holiness remain the same but thank God for Righteousness through Christ.
      You know Righteousness is a gift from God and this can buy us purity or holiness. Else if God judges us with holiness. No one can survive it.
      So I await a write-up here about righteousness. #justmythought #istandtobecorrected


  2. Been Holy is been like God coz God is holy, which we can’t completely be coz of our flesh which is made out f dust but there was a measurement of some holiness in us from creation which we strive to build up daily. I think our level f purity makes us more righteous thereby increasing our level of holiness. Quite complicated

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Awesome baby girl! Awesome!!!! Nothing can separate us from God’s love!!! I had a conversation with a male friend recently and he was asking the reason for abstinence, and i told him for most pple trying to stay on the right path with God, some fear they won’t be able to communicate well with God once gone dt far.. But he said if i told him its cos u r trying to keep ur self for ur husband, he would understand, but the initial reason wasn’t good enough cos dt means u r measuring urself, that means as soon as u probably commit manslaughter (which is unintentionally killing someone), u would hardly be able to pray anymore. That spoke volumes to me.. That’s why that verse that nothing can separate us struck a chord. Bacause, he loved us regardless! Heck, he loved us even before we were formed. Although i didn’t fail to mention dt as much as we r only made righteous by his grace and not our works or ‘trying not to have sex’, this doesn’t mean we have the go ahead to sex up cos we know he loves us still.. But! This is a perfect reminder that ‘no matter how far gone’, he still loves us, and we can’t measure our own righteousness by our actions.. Come what may, ‘if we sin’, we have a priest dts not unaware of what it is like to be human. Plus my friend didn’t fail to add that being a virtuous woman means waaay more than being a virgin. As u rightly put it, purity is a JOURNEY. God bless u Doyin 😘

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m so wowed and blessed by this write. Purity is not virginity. People have different reasons why they abstain from premarital sex but the most important reason should be because we love God. Joseph said how can I do this great evil and sin before God. The truth is that the Bible is our standard we have a great cloud of witness who are hoping we will measure up to biblical standards. God’s standard can never change, whether we are in the 21st century or not. The media potrays a very wrong idea of purity. Sometimes, teenagers watch movies and they get a wrong impression of what purity is all about. If a person gives his/her life to christ he/she is a new creature, whether the person was a liar, fornicator, adulterer, robber, whatever life such person had is no more. The person has a clean slate. The fact that a person is a virgin doesnt mean the person is not a thief or a backbitter like the scripture says “he who is guilty of one is guilty of all” virginity is not purity. A former harlot can be pure and can be a vessel unto honour if she allows God do the cleansing. God bless you for this write up.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Babe, i’m speechless….. this can only be from God; it’s a revelation that needs to be taken out there.
    I pray that the Lord reveals Himself more to you and anoint you for the journey ahead.

    Love you to pieces


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